What makes someone feel "rich enough" in different societies?
08.06.2025 02:18
They kept so many things for drying on that cemented floor.
Moreover they can relax from their stressful life if they come here than making my life stressful there.In between I do visit them anyway.
I peeped first through window.
Grand maa was doing namaskar to the main door of the compound wall. Started sweeping in front of the compound wall. Already finished sweeping the front yard. Spraying water with mug. A fragile appreaing strong lady.
I ate as if I never saw food in my life. She neatly cut a papaya fruit and ate, poha mixed with curds she took.
It's an ancestral house with mud tiles. ‘’Manduva house” we call in our language.
Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?
I asked Sundarama “what you will do with that much butter milk?
She said lying on one mat. Let me take rest for one or two hours. Then we will go at evening to the lemon trees!
I have not seen her plucking them.
Are women as visual as men are?
She replied with a smile. ‘’Ammalu!( Dear).in this world there is no permanent happiness, richness, sadness or poverty. It's purely depends on how you want to look at it.
I was hungry like a pig. 10 kms to and from walk.
I understood, she is about to put Rangavalli. I went out and offered to put. By seeing me she has her doubts like ‘do I really know drawing Rangavalli?
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Cut vegetables and gave her. Both sat drinking coffee chit chatting. Later that woman cleaned the house, mopped it. Washed grandmother’s saree with detergent and again spread it on the cloth line.
Straight away she went to her puja room. Finished her puja within minutes.
Then to my surprise a group of women came. A portion of the front yard was cemented around Tulasi kota.
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The only real security is having ability to earn some people who would stand by you till your end.”
Around 3′clock we came back. I was served two coconuts in between.
By the time I turned around to look for her,
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That lady plucked some vegetables. Roasted some sweet potatos on coal stove.
Sundarama said, it's for farm labourers. Butter is made in to ghee and given to pregnant women and toddlers. Grandma has two buffalos in the farm. But, don't sell milk and other things.
She smiled and said. “Since I live alone, it's to tell other neighbours I am fine. I got up. Those flowers and Rangavalli convey that message. Otherwise they will be worried and leave their work to find out how I am.
How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?
I kept blank face.
She said, “I can. “But, what should I do there? My skills are of no use there.
They have to buy everything there. Little leftovers also they keep it and eat next day. Here, nothing is left. Many people come and take away if I say one word. I can feed whatever amount I want to neighbours, temples, kids like you and all.
My friend stays with her parents in a small town because of schol and college for her and her brother. Just Like all of us.
New place..I couldn't sleep. Especially on mats!! we are some 10 girls. All of us wanted to stay in the same room. Very big rooms those are. But, given mats since there were not that many mattresses.
She smiled but didn't reply. Took little butter in to a small silver Bowl and kept that infront of lord Krishna's photo. Kept some ‘’Mandaram 🌺 flowers “.
I said , I can't anymore and fell on my mat.
I am not even school educated. Just metric pass that too privately. Can't enjoy that busy life there.
Later I asked her, is this her daily life?
Why do so many people like life?
More than fifty years I stayed here in this house. Let me go off from here. Kids force sometimes. But, let me see!
I asked her, are you happy? You feel contented?
grand ma said, ‘’Sundarama, (that woman’s name ) Today my grand daughter and her friends came. Take this buttermilk with you as usual but bring back some thick curds.
Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?
She said when asked ,grown up buds she collected at night itself. Morning time lot of insects will be there on plants. Before sun she should not disturb them!! It's against ‘prakriti niyama.” rules of nature. After sun comes only we should pluck flowers butnit will be too late for her.
Grand maa said smiling. “God blessed me with enough, I can afford to give them.”
‘Then do you know what these neighbours said? “ She asked me with with an happy face.
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Grandma ate food early and said she has some work and would come back after some time.
After, some time, exactly at sunrise time, a woman came to help her. I thought, she might have called her since we are too many to feed. She brought fresh milk almost may be 4 to five litres. This much for grand Ma? I wondered.
‘ I know , without any intimation to you when she brought all of us here , itself I understood her. But, she is good hearted “I said looking at my friend who is busy making swings with coir rope!!
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Some other farmers are stopping and greeting her in between, chatting for some time and going to attend their work. The entire land to the extent our eyes can see is full of farm land only with different crops.
The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.
Ok. Let me come back .
I have seen good crop days, lot of money in hands , sudden rains, crop loss, children growing up, leaving this place one by one, husband leaving this world, many friends of my age I lost, many young women become friends also.
Around 8′clock another woman came called Parvati and started making some breakfast for all of us. Some upma and moong daal halwa. Served on banana leaves.
She said yes. in her teens she got married. Her husband is a big farmer in that village. They have lot of lands but for children ‘s education, for marriages they sold major part of it.
That women made rounds around front and back yard. Already lots of different , different birds landed there and enjoying their morning feed served by grand ma.
I asked her, in side the house it's ok atleast. Why out side of compound wall? Those flowers and all?
She told her children she wants an equal share and kept her share of farm land. Children sold their shares and settled in the cities of their choice..in between they come and visit her. They are even ready to send money whenever she needs.
May not be suitable for present day cities.
All those lands are tilled and kept ready . Bottle gourd, and other gourds are grown there. Separately on one piece of land betel leaves are grown on long thin trunks of trees.
I said Maamma garu!! there are so many facilities in towns and cities why can't she stay with one of her children or with all the children on rotation. More comfortable life that will be, isn't it?
That village is around 30 kms from the town where we all stay.
She started churning the curds for butter. I asked her. She is alone. How much butter and ghee she needs!!?
Since I ate stomach full breakfast I said I would come with her. Others are exploring the house, trees, fruits, well, etc.
Lit lamp near ‘’Tulasi kota’’. Visible to people passing non road.
Some rice and vegetables, daal also They prepared for lunch. Every thing is done by 11.30. in the morning.
Early morning 4'. Clock. Some water sounds and some chanting, some karrr, karrrr sounds I heard..
She gave me the powder bowl and showed the places where and all to put. I completed my task.
Straight away we walked atleast 5 kms unde r sun. I gasped and stopped for few seconds in between. She didn't. Finally we reached much to my happiness.
There was a small room next to the well. May be changing room. After bath She changed in to dry clothes there. Rinsed the wet clothes and put them on clothes line. While chanting something throwing some grains here and there in between small plants and under the coconut trees.
She was already taking her leisurely bath near well. Drawing water with bucket from well. With Cold water in November!! Chanting ‘shiva! shiva!. Something.
The lamp in front of Tulasi in front yard, flowers and Rangavalli not only calm mind with divinity, conveys some message also. Like all is well with me to day!!
Two days stay it was.
All may not understand this and whoever can understand this don't care for others acceptance at all.
I was curious what she will do by getting up so early? She got up because not us or its her routine? I started keenly observing her.
She said, “what you are seeing is a fraction of the land which we had once. I kept this for me and gave away everything to the children and that temple.
I assured her I know. I grew up with my grandmother.
Cut few more papaya fruits for our gang.
‘Maamma garu!! We can not fill your loss. Can not replace your children but if you decide to stay here we promise, we will take care of you like your own children.” they said.
‘’What did you answer? I asked her again.
Asking Grand ma about some thing and Grand maa was advising them. They left keeping their things there for drying. Evening they will come and collect.
In fact all our villages have only those types of houses at that time. Very rarely you find cement roofed ones.
Brought out two small lamps and kept them both sides of the house’s main door. Kept open the wooden door of compound wall. That door itself was like a small covered Typical coastal area style.
I laughed in my heart. Too late? What she is going to do in the entire day at her age?
6 feet height compound wall. A roofed wooden door to enter the house. Kept two flowers to that outside door also at both sides.
I said, “Mamma garu! You have enough for your survival and independent life so, easily you said you can live alone . Away from children. All are not that lucky at your age to live an independent like like you. Even health wise.
How simple but powerful way of telling something about their welfare to neighbours!!
Just like that she took all of us there. No particular reason. Since it's not very far our parents also agreed.
If money is hope for independence you will never have it. “Lakshmi is chanchalam’. It may come and go like water in coconut.
The richness of life is not having money, having more memories which makes our heart happy. Having less nightmares and painful memories is richness of life. I have good memories which stops me going anywhere.
All this farm experience I learnt from my husband. Two years back he passed away.
Her grandmother stays there alone in that big house. She was aged around 80 years or late 70’s I think.
My friend took me to a place once. It's her grandmother ‘s house. Me and other friends as well.
But, who is alive here to know others welfare !!!?? Mortgaged future, work load that blurrs difference between day and night swallowed lives here long back. Just left us alive for name sake.
Said around 5′ in the evening she will visit few lemon trees in the back yard and pick up fallen fruits.Interested can go with her.
Formal education will make you earn a good living. No doubt in that. But, knowledge gained out of experience, self education will make you a fortune , lucky.
Already few women were waiting for her there. Tthuk!! tthuck.. she walked in to the fields, checked the soil and gave advice. Inspected seeds of those gourds.
But, she told them her farm produce is more than enough for her.
Long post.
Suddenly I remembered my dad's words.
She replied with a smile. “You just ask like my second granddaughter. This girl, your class mate is still a child only. Prasuna is younger to her but very matured.”
She is rich enough? Happy? You decide.